Cthulhu’s Offer Made as Many Americans Begin Questioning Democrat Joe Biden’s Mental Sanity
Cthulhu’s brief entry into Democratic Party politics ended early this morning with the deaths of thirty-four DNC staffers at the party’s office in Boston.
Cthulhu joins the Democratic Party primary process after being ritually invoked by Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Schumer.
An Innsmouth official offered genetic assistance to Senator Elizabeth Warren after a DNA test failed to stem criticism of her Native American claims.
A Cthulhu presidency would be most American’s dream payback for inflicting the tacky bombasticism of Trump upon the nation.
Beretta Nova reviews the Cthulhu Cult’s new motivation book “Your Stars Are Wrong: Wisdom for the Coming Age of Cthulhu.” Deplorable memes, unmentionable truths, and eldritch secrets abound in this new volume by Samir al-Azrad.
Hours after Cthulhu announced his intention to sponsor China, debris from Chinese space station Tiangong-1 fell on the outskirts of sunken continent R’lyeh.
China’s ruler for life, President Xi Jinping, now has a rival for control of the world’s next superpower. Cthulhu’s cult announced today that their Dread Lord no longer favored the floundering American republic and was looking to the future.