As this small blue planet completes another orbital cycle, we take one quick glance backward at the darkness of history pursuing us as we run toward 2016.
Behind the scenes for most of the year the various cults of Cthulhu, nation- and world-wide, collaborated on a unified effort to awaken Dread Cthulhu through the willing sacrifice of millions of voters.
By August, Cthulhu was ready to announce his candidacy. On top of quickly assembling a crack team of professional operatives and political strategists, Cthulhu came out swinging against the Republican front-runner.
Campaign Press Secretary Samir al-Azrad got into a fight with the New Republic‘s Jonah Goldberg.
All October we highlighted the struggles and successes of cultists. We also recieved support from a very special 12-year-old cultist named Acantha.
We also revealed that Democratic nomination underdog Bernie Sanders is, like a certain Professor Armitage, a dangerous sorcerer.
November began with a huge success for religious liberty when Point Pleasant, Indiana, became the first municipality to legalize human sacrifice — paving the way for similar laws nationwide. We also began outreach efforts to voters throughout the political spectrum: Progressives, Libertarians, Democrats, Republicans and Conservatives.
As winter approached, it was time to steel ourselves for a much more energetic War on Christmas. And the Campaign embarked on a seven-day cross-country celebration of the Dark Days of Saturnalia.
But now is the time to look forward and increase cult awareness. We are mere weeks from official confirmation that Cthulhu will be facing laughable blowhard Donald Trump and serial liar Hillary Clinton in the general election — when the real battle for the soul of the nation begins.
