FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE:
Guillermo del Toro endorses Cthulhu for President
KINGSPORT, Mass. – June 1, 2016 – While Trump impatiently waits for his official nomination and Hillary creeps about avoiding the FBI, Cthulhu started the month of June picking up an endorsement from the Master of Monsters, Guillermo del Toro.
Guillermo del Toro is best known for his forays into dark fantasy (The Devil’s Backbone, Pan’s Labyrinth, Hellboy, Crimson Peak) as well as the kaiju fantasy Pacific Rim. He has long been attached to “At the Mountains of Madness” – an epic tale of Cthulhu’s prehuman conquest of the Elder Things, an alien race who mistakenly colonized Earth.
Campaign manager Eminence Waite, obviously pleased by the unexpected tweet, said, “No one in the modern film industry understands Cthulhu’s policy solutions more than Guillermo del Toro.” She went on to say that his embrace of the hidden forces at work in the world “make him uniquely qualified to understand how glorious an awakened god from the depths of R’lyeh would be.”
Eminence Waite added that she cannot wait for Cthulhu to win the presidency and subsequently press Del Toro into service to create the ultimate Cthulhu biopic.
— Guillermo del Toro (@RealGDT) June 1, 2016