0
0 Items Selected

No products in the cart.

Select Page

Cthulhu knows that when we join together and chant together, we will be eaten together.

Cthulhu is the American Dream

Cthulhu’s spent Its entire career charging towards big challenges, garnering diverse support to carry out Its bidding, and achieving the impossible according to our primitive scientific understanding.

We believe that when we join together and beg to be eaten, Cthulhu will rise.

The importance of extermination was impressed upon Cthulhu early in Its existence.  Countless eons spent annihilating worlds and realities have honed It into the ultimate Immanetizer of the Eschaton. It was not by chance that Cthulhu landed on a young steaming rock that would one day be called Earth.  The once pristine globe was soon overrun by a failed laboratory experiment by one of Cthulhu’s vanquished foes.

These barely sentient primates humans have been molded over millennia by Cthulhu into something more civilized and appetizing.  Empires have risen and fallen under Its dark wings — culminating in the creation of Earth’s greatest and final empire.  The American Experiment has never been about self-governance, but bringing humanity as close as it will ever be to true freedom.

Cthulhu’s guidance of the United States can be found in the dark waters of New England, the black mires of New Orleans, the haunted mountains of Vermont and the lonely surf-addled shorelines of California. The influence of Cthulhu is everywhere in America and It is ready to claim Its own.

Making Lasting Change

For thousands of years Cthulhu has been building a grassroots movement to make big, structural change. Numbering in the millions, Cultists like you have been laboring to bring a future of freedom for all to fruition. A future free of a broken criminal justice system, economic woes, and absolutely equal justice for everyone.

Cthulhu’s work has gained national recognition. The Pacific magazine described It as “pragmatic, popular, and petrifying,” the New York Times described It as a “timeless demon heading for Beltway indigestion,” and Nameless Cults Magazine named It as “Best in Outré Transformation” for Its efforts on behalf of working families.

The Dread Lord hears the screams and dreams of a planet full to bursting of children lost in their own filth. It offers us the way to avert our embarrassing fate.

Salvation from the lesser evil is a lie.

The stars are right for humanity to accept it’s destiny — it’s freedom.

It is time to choose the Greatest Evil to permanently end the cycle of humanity’s long, slow devolution into primordial putrescence.

Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn.

— Cthulhu