National Security

It’s long past time for America to unleash the best-trained, best-equipped, and strongest military the world has ever known – on the world.

America’s might should not be squandered by bluster and loose talk; nor should it be sold to the highest bidder.

Cthulhu will be a president who doesn’t just support our military rhetorically. As the conqueror of countless worlds, enslaver of multitudes, and the destructor of uncounted civilizations, he understands the issues facing our military and veterans and knows exactly what to do with them.

As president, Cthulhu will:

• Initiate the last human World War. Cthulhu will not trigger it accidentally through incompetence or greed. America will liberate all nations in the name of freedom — and Dread Cthulhu. As more and more nations are admitted into our union, so too shall America’s economy and security be strengthened. Many countries will willingly join in our exceptionalism. Many will not. America will not flinch from its sacred duty of Global Manifest Destiny.
• America’s primitive technologies are superior to those of her rivals, but that doesn’t mean black magic and super-science should not be used to permanently alter and augment our military. Nor should it mean that the dark entities allied with Cthulhu should not feast on the battlefield. No other nation will be able to counter our asymmetric supernatural threat.
• As this will be the last war humanity will fight prior to being consumed, Cthulhu will craft a defense budget that allows humanity to go out in style.

What do Democrats and Republicans think?