Cthulhu for America 2016 Presidential Campaign News Archive

A new leak from Clinton’s upcoming revenge novel “What Happened?” details how third party candidate Cthulhu contributed to her electoral loss last year.

A new tell-all book is set to overrun Hillary Clinton’s fictional work, also based on the 2016 presidential election, in September.

Cthulhu on Monday unveiled its new political action organization, Onward Together Hastening Eldritch Renascence (OTHERPAC), which will fundraise for countless cults nationwide.

Former comedian Stephen Colbert partially revealed the post-election machinations of Cthulhu last night on “The Late Show.”

He is an idea, a world-theological archfiend, darkness itself.

An exclusive inside look at the Cthulhu campaign on Election Day. Or, as they call it, Summoning Day.

“I have no trust in the two-party system.”

Four days to the election and the collective human hive is abuzz with the revelation of Clinton campaign’s connection to satanic rituals. Does this hurt Cthulhu’s chances?

This is historic.

Why we would cast our hypothetical vote for Cthulhu

We believe that Cthulhu is not only the best candidate for the job, but the only candidate.

FT chief editorial writer Robert Armstrong claimed that Cthulhu plans to “spare a few humans.”

Ain’t no better time to summon the sleeping god than now.

That we endorse Cthulhu for president should come as no surprise. There really is no other choice.

Pro-Hillary PACs are dragging Cthulhu into their stale lesser evil argument. What the Cthulhu campaign does next may surprise you.

I continue to hear from many people who call themselves annihilists or apocalyptians, but tell me they won’t vote for Cthulhu in the upcoming election.

While Blumenthal specializes in obtaining classified documents on the sly, Podesta’s great love is for extraterrestrials.

As early voting begins and election day nears it’s important that cultists nationwide understand our path to victory.

The election of Cthulhu is an event that we will welcome for its immense existential importance, and greet with indescribable relief.

You get to make the choice.

With our nation facing political rot on the inside and barbarians at the gates, now is no time for sophistry. It is time for America to acknowledge this dead end path and place the noose squarely around her neck.

The appalling spectacle for this election season, scripted by the gilded hands of your betters, has been a gauche display of vulgarity.

Cthulhu’s press secretary talks about necromantic errors and the second amendment.

The presidential candidate talks adolescent genocides, professional rivalries, and haunted crypt-island essentials.

For the first time since The Pacific’s founding, the editors endorse a candidate for president. The case for Cthulhu.

There is only one serious candidate on the presidential ballot in November. We recommend Dread Lord Cthulhu.

While the Wikileaks “October Surprise”never materialized last night, this morning Cthulhu delivered a surprise of his own.

A young woman sent Cthulhu this letter about how the media’s over-the-top lesser evil-ism may have provided her mom a moment of clarity during this critical election.

One of the most deplorable aspects of this presidential race is the legitimization it has provided to dangerous fringe candidates like Cthulhu.

The Cthulhu and Clinton campaigns sparred on Friday with competing national programs aimed at keeping a restless population occupied.

Since The Kingsport Star Herald began publication in 1743, we have never endorsed a candidate for president. Until now.

America has lost the first presidential debate. There is no spinning it any other way. America saw two ego-maniacal candidates. Neither one is ready to be president.

As usual, the Democrats and Republicans are afraid of challengers to the establishment duopoly and have excluded Cthulhu from the event.

Much is said about millennials by my opponents. We say something far different.

The Cthulhu campaign released a document showing that he fulfills the citizenship requirement to hold the office of President of the United States.

Beretta Nova interviews Cthulhu campaign manager Eminence Waite as part of her Dread and Revulsion on the Campaign Trail ’16 series

Share with us your boldest, most daring videos or selfies promoting Cthulhu for President with hashtag #ReadyForCthulhu for a chance to win an exclusive All-Star Volunteer shirt every week until the election.

Hillary’s endorsements from belligerent foreign policy bureaucrats stalled today when Henry Kissinger declined to endorse her.

Cthulhu maintains his lead in the Miskatonic State University “Evil Index” despite heavy poaching by Clinton and continued Trump incompetence.

Let’s make this race too scary, too consequential and too close for people to think clearly and then use their confusion to our electoral advantage.

Hillary Clinton attempted to demonize her clownish opponent in a speech by misattributing a Cthulhu campaign slogan to Donald Trump.

The Crawling Chaos’ experience at spreading delirium and horror makes him uniquely qualified to help craft an apocalypse that works for everyone and professionally send American families to oblivion.

The follow up to the Clinton campaign’s successful #NakedTrump stunt, #NakedCthulhu, has left the artist in need of professional care.

Cthulhu cultists working at CERN successfully summoned the entity who will head Cthulhu’s presidential transition team.

Cthulhu has chosen Outer God Nyarlathotep, the Crawling Chaos, to be his running mate, adding the chaotic force to the Elder Party-supported ticket, he announced Saturday.

Unlike the earlier Republican and Democratic conventions, Elder Party cultists have a united vision entering their weekend of activism, political assassination and debauchery.

The Cthulhu campaign challenges assassination-happy candidates Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton to a Presidential Death Race.

“As a lifelong Democrat, I have found that my party has moved too slowly in a direction leading to our deserved apocalypse..”

Cthulhu is narrowing his choices for a running mate as his team closes in on the final week of vetting.

Now begins the terrible season of politics, made rough with the discontent of the masses as we slide headlong into the intestinal maze of the American body politic.

The Democratic National Committee was into more than election fraud and promoting Hillary Clinton as released DNC emails shows.

Today supporters of Bernie Sanders were dealt bitter defeat as their leader submitted to Hillary Clinton. We offer another avenue for political redress.

One of the best ways you can help Cthulhu right now is to send your darkest magick Hillary Clinton’s way.

Chief Cthulhu rival and lesser evil, Hillary Clinton, is set to be interrogated by the FBI today at her Washingon, DC, residence.

PPP Polling reported that a generic “meteor” has a 13 percent share of the presidential election – neglecting to include the one, true candidate of doom – Cthulhu.

Cthulhu has reached an unbelievable 55% favorability in a new national poll.

The secrecy of the meeting of approximately 160 of the most powerful men in the western world always leads to flights of conspiratorial fancy. However it’s no theory that the Cthulhu campaign made their case to back him over Hillary Clinton to the world’s elite.

Cthulhu calls out President Obama for endorsing compulsive equivocator Hillary Clinton – citing Democratic desperation to buoy the uninspiring candidate.

Several top level campaign staffers have left the campaign trail to attend this year’s secretive Bilderberg Group meeting in Dresden, Germany.

Independent presidential candidate Cthulhu is making a pitch to supporters of Democratic candidate Bernie Sanders.

Cthulhu started the month of June picking up an endorsement from the Master of Monsters, Guillermo del Toro.

Cthulhu released a list of potential Supreme Court nominees on Tuesday in a move designed to head off concerns of who is the most evil candidate in the presidential race.

Auditions a #NeverTrump savior are being cast wide, but GOP political consultant Rick Wilson opened the field even further by stating “I’ll vote for Cthulhu.”

“Muck Dynasty” patriarch Freddie Dolan will support Dread Cthulhu in the fall despite endorsing his rival Jeb Bush seven months ago, he said Monday.

The entire town of Gilbertville mysteriously did not return any Super Tuesday results in either the Democratic or Republican primaries.

Zane Felix completely misunderstands what happened in Arkham, Innsmouth, Dunwich and Kingsport.

Miskatonic State University released the results of their first national “Evil” poll of the election season in time for Super Tuesday.

President Obama today announced that he was nominating Dr. Carla Hayden to be the new Librarian of Congress. We call on her to reopen Vault 23.

Dread Lord Cthulhu issued the following statement on the passing of Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia

The tasteful debauchery of the largest networking opportunity for the world’s elite was muted after a tough, but honest, presentation by Eminence Waite.

As this small blue planet completes another orbital cycle, we take one quick glance backward at the darkness of history pursuing us as we run toward 2016.

The lonely stretch of Shi Shi Beach was the setting for the last night of Saturnalian revelry.

Janice and her committed fellow cultists descended upon a Minnesota Starbucks with a message that our sacred holidays will not be mocked.