The Innsmouth Harbinger, managing editor, Patrice Oswald | Reprinted with permission
That we endorse Cthulhu for president should come as no surprise. There really is no other choice. The reality is that most Americans would rather die than allow this election to run to completion. It’s unfortunate that there are still so many that need to be reached with the good news that America has the power to make that cataclysm a reality on election day — that Cthulhu can bring about the end of our broken political system and the human race.
He is not a lesser of two evils, as media histrionics about Trump being Hitler (he’s not) or Hillary being a demon (she’s a zombie) have led too many to believe. He is the greater evil, intent on the destruction of humanity and reclaiming the earth as his domain. There is no comparison to be made of his experience and intellect against the paper resume or the extemporaneous barker. His future is one of death, of the opening of the gates, and rending reality. There will be no survivors.
In an election where the two mainstream candidates are polarizing, corrupt, and unlikable, unrest over the outcome is certain. Only Cthulhu can lead the nation in unison toward a future void of human weakness and division. Only through the madness of his awakening will we truly find equality and unity.
Being the only serious alternative to Trump and Clinton is both Cthulhu’s fortune and misfortune. He provides a simple, logical answer to our nation’s problems that many would accept if given the chance to hear it. But in a nation presided over by elite humans who cannot stand to see their system upended by an ancient god, we see the government and corporations moving in unison to suppress his candidacy to promote their own. Sadly, it is not unexpected behavior for a government that violated its own laws destroying Innsmouth, Massachusetts, in 1928.
The failed War on Alcohol, Prohibition, was in full effect at the time and it was anti-liquor hysteria which brought the government to Innsmouth. A once proud fishing, shipping and shipbuilding town, it had fallen on hard times. Instead of helping the people economically recover, the United States Army, at the direction of Republican President Calvin Coolidge, invaded Innsmouth. They destroyed its critical infrastructure, including the local church. They arrested the townsfolk, all of whom were American citizens.
All references to the people abducted were removed from the public record. It has only been through decades of investigative work did we discover the names of those taken and the research labs where they were imprisoned. It is through determination and smart investment have we were able to rebuild our town and our livelihoods, yet the state and federal government continue to deny our rights.
Our story is not unique.
The insurgent candidacies of Sanders and Trump would never have appeared if all was right in America. The nihilism that fuels the dark undercurrent of society flows freely and it is only those who are too comfortable who wonder why this is. Those who live real lives understand our system has insurmountable systemic problems that can only be destroyed, never repaired.
We perceive in Cthulhu the capability to destroy that system – to redefine our world as something indescribable and unmentionable. To rid the planet of a humanity grown soft and decadent as foretold in ancient times.
In this era of voter discontent, Americans want change. The only realistic choice is clear. We stand with Cthulhu.
